It’s the weekend! Finally! A break from the job, and hopefully some time for you to relax, unwind, have some fun, and get refreshed before that dreaded Monday comes back around. It’s always nice to relax and get some time away from your work and duties. Without that time, how long do you think you could last? How quickly do you think you’d burn out and collapse both physically, and mentally? Taking a break is massively important, and necessary.
But when do you take a break from your challenges and allow yourself to rest and heal? When do you take a break from beating yourself up and holding on to the negativity in your life? When do you allow yourself to breathe, clear your mind and your heart, and get a new perspective on things? When do you allow yourself to stop focusing on what’s “wrong” or missing in your life, and focus on what is wonderful in your life, and how blessed you are now? When do you give yourself time to let go?
Think about this – really think about it.
When do you allow yourself to let go? And yes, I just used the word ‘allow’. Some of you may think that your trials, challenges, and miserable situations are constantly following you around and holding onto you no matter where you go, what day it is, or where you try to hide.
But the truth may surprise you…
Could it be that you are the one holding on to them?
Many of you will easily become upset with me when I say that you are the one holding on to your pain, holding onto your misery, and holding on to your past. You’ll think I’m crazy, and might even ask how I dare to make such a wild and ‘unprofessional and inaccurate’ statement. But through that anger filled response reveals the truth about your connection with your victim status.
But why would anyone ever want to hold on to pain, you ask?
Because you need it. You’ve created and based your identity and your sense of self from it. To lose your pain, is almost like losing yourself. It’s like losing your identity – or better clearly stated as, death to the self. Why would anyone be defensive about his or her pain? The truth is, it’s treasured. It’s needed. I’ve been on both sides of this, so trust me – I understand how crazy it can sound. I’ve become upset when people have said the same things to me during the hardest times of my life, the hardest being the majority of 2011. I felt they just didn’t want to watch me go through my pain, experience my grief because it was uncomfortable for them – but it was mine. My pain. My grief. Not theirs. But those statements alone carried the truth about it. I needed it. I treasured it. It became me. I didn’t want to let it go. I absolutely hated it, but needed it just as much. I created who I was through that pain, and letting go of it was letting go of me. What is scarier than to voluntarily destroy your identity and your sense of self? When you think about it, you might realize it’s our ultimate fear – Death to self.
Suffering is created through resistance to accept what is. Pain needs the element of time to be created and exist. And time meaning your past, (or future). It’s the past because there is a length of “time” between then and now. Pain can occur by focusing on something that once was, and now is lost. It was there then, but isn’t now. Or by focusing on something desired for the future, but dreading that it isn’t here now. Either way, you are not in the present moment. You are not connected with life.
Life is happening NOW. Life IS now.
We need to learn to dwell happily in the way things are. Stop resisting the way life is right now. Take a break from your past, your problems, your dramas and miserable situations – and the best way to do that is to come to the present moment. Notice where you are, take in all the colors and textures of the room or the outdoors. Notice the smells. Notice your body, your breath, and allow yourself to relax and breathe deep, taking in every piece of this moment you can. Be present. Be here.
Everyone lives their entire day focused on something other than where they are currently. Some live their entire life this way. They focus on the past, the future, where they need to go, where they need to be, what they need to do, even what has happened to them previously etc. Even replaying all those thoughts and details over and over obsessively in the mind, maintaining and supporting the attachment to that pain.
But how much time is focused on the present and where you are right now? How much do you notice about the world around you? Do you notice the beauty all around? Do you notice the perfection? Probably not. Maybe only small glimpses of it here and there – usually only when it benefits you. You might even roll your eyes at me calling it “perfection”. How much of your life is controlled NOW by your past? How much of your life is controlled by your fears, plans, worries, and stresses about the future?
What are you missing?
Life.
You are missing the now.
You are missing everything.
Everything is perfect for you now. There are no problems. No tragedies. No miserable situations. There is only your reality, and what you think about it. And what you think about your reality is the cause for your experience of that reality. What you think, you become. What you think, you experience. What you think, ultimately, is.
When you are experiencing pain, start to become aware of not only what you are putting your attention to, but where you are putting your attention. Where are you focused? Are you dreading experiences from the past? Are you wishing and hoping for alternative experiences in the future? Let go of that and come back to the present moment. Give yourself a break from your trials, challenges, and heartache. Your past is not your life, and your life is not your past, neither is your life the future. Your life is right NOW, in this moment, at this time. Right now. And that’s all there is. Everything else is an illusion.
You may say, “But I am focused on the present moment, and it sucks. That is where my pain is. It’s within this present moment.” And I would ask you “Why? Why does this moment create pain for you?” and your response might be something along the lines of, because you are without money, without possessions, without success, or even without a special person, or without a relationship in general, or that some event happened to you, which is also stating in a different way that you are now without something, whether it be an object, or an idea or feeling. The list could be endless, but the truth is, anything you could provide is an external source. You still are focusing and attached to the past, or focusing on an alternative future, which could also be tied to the past at the same time – completely skipping over the present moment. You are constantly focused on external sources as your main supply of happiness and fully believe that if you had that object back, that person back, or that state of mind back again (or even had it at all), THEN you could be happy at this present moment.
The truth couldn’t be more opposite of that.
You have everything you need right now for total and complete happiness and joy. You’ve always had it. It’s never left. It’s never been taken. It can’t be taken. It can’t be lost or misplaced. And it is within you now. It is you. It’s always been you. And nothing outside of you can ever replace that or duplicate the kind of love that you can provide for yourself. There’s nothing more beautiful than you. There’s nothing more wonderful than you. There’s nothing more pure, worthy, and deserving of your love than you. Don’t punish yourself for thinking otherwise – forgive yourself. Our society is based on buying more things, having more things, becoming more, and chasing after the idea and the addictive mentality that you NEED more, and more, and more, and program a false truth within you that you won’t be happy or complete until you have more of this or more of that, whether it be an object, another person, a status, or state of mind. It’s programmed into us from our childhood and maintained and supported for the rest of our life… well, unless you choose otherwise.
Love is always that answer, and you have an unlimited supply of it within you always.
I hope you all have a wonderful, amazing, inspirational, relaxing, and refreshingly joyful weekend.
I’m Shaun, just a spirit trying to be human… Thanks for reading.
[photo courtesy: Mr. Littlehand]
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